We've all been there -- feeling victimized by a friend, a boss or a lover who has treated us poorly or unfairly. It's an easy and common tendency to blame the other, make yourself out as the innocent one, while seeking out particular people who will reaffirm that pain body within that encourages a "woe is me" mentality. But if you start to look back and analyze a bit, you may realize that there is one common denominator in each scenario and situation. That common denominator is "YOU".
You allow people to treat you the way they do. Your energy, confidence and attitude is the currency that others will transact with. I know many women who have settled for less, and simply "accepted" cards dealt because deep inside, they don't believe they deserve more. I'm sure you know of someone who seems to have it all together in their life, but when it come to relationships, they just can't seem to shake the habit of dating douche bags and douchettes.
This is all a matter of self-esteem and my sense of self worth in the realm of being a man or a woman in a romantic relationship
I need you to realize that your most important relationship is the one with yourself
Learned to embrace self love
Stopped apologizing for who you are and learned that you are "perfect" the way you are, right then, you can easily recognize men and women who are drawn to you only for the best of you. Remember "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Be the gatekeeper." Your heart is a precious gift. Your body is a temple. Be selective. Respect it and be respected. Love yourself and be loved. It you don't respect and love yourself first, building a healthy relationship with another is like building a house with no foundation -- eventually the cracks and lack of a strong base will eventually cause it to crumble.
Know your value and don't accept being treated in a way less than you deserve. Now, I don't mean to start going out there with unrealistic expectations, demands and a sense of entitlement. I am saying that you deserve to be treated the way you treat others, and vice versa. The minute you negotiate your self worth and accept less, you say to the universe that you don't deserve any better, and the vicious cycle/pattern begins. Change for yourself and of course, friends and partners are great mirror reflections that help you grow. But don't change out of the wrong reasons to appease someone or in hopes that they will like you more. If they judge you for who you are now, they aren't your fit.I will leave you with this quote
"But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the "YOU" you love, well, that's just fabulous."
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